MP utters sense, shocks nation

By our reporter

Journalists were yesterday shocked during a parliament session when an otherwise harmless member of parliament uttered a statement that haboured traces of intelligence. According to several reliable sources the incident happened at exactly 0807hours GMT.

The scene of the dreadful incident

The unprecedented incident caused mayhem for several hours before joint CIA and Uganda police forces were called in to restore calm and order. Because of the shock, one of the witnesses was rushed to Mulago hospital after suffering a near-fatal stroke.

“I’ve been a journalist for twenty years now I tell you but I’ve never seen anything like this. Me am telling you,” a journalist was heard saying. Other witnesses claimed it was only a prank and there was nothing to be afraid of while others thought it was a sign that the world was ending soon. “I think he has a demon. This nation needs prayers,” another MP was quoted.

Reactions about the MP in question were mixed though several of his fellow MPs were mostly negative about the incident.

“It is very unconstitutional. That man has been my friend for many years now but I’ve never seen him acting like this. That was very unethical of him and I think this nation deserves a public apology,” said the representative for Sibafaako North, Hon. John-Bosco Pilawo.

Another MP who preferred anonymity but told us his name was Slumber Yebase also expressed bitterness. “Very bad I tell you. Such things will ruin this country’s political future if they are not curbed early enough. He never said anything, he always dozed with admirable dedication and with that kind of attitude to his work, we even thought he would become the next speaker of this honourable house. He should be suspended immediately.”

However, Chogam Fandizi, Youth MP for Nalyasente East was of a different opinion. “I think this will be good for our economy. I don’t know how but I know it will be good,” he said adding that the said MP would be thrown out and the salaries of those left will consequently be increased. “Which is good,” he added. “Very good for us and for this country but mostly for us.”

CIA analyst Names McGood was baffled saying that it was a major science breakthrough. We’ve excavated and studied remains of previous forms of this kind of thing…person, sorry, without much success. This marks the first form of intelligence in a Ugandan parliament. We’ll continue studying it…him until we know for sure that there’s some intellect in that house.

Waaa: The president refuses to believe any such thing happened in his country

submitted by (or hijacked from) Erique

You can read more of his searing insights and bollockry here

You might also like:

The cocacola-isation of Waving Flag

eh eh eh eh!

“Whatever cry we cry is not heard outside of here”

By our reporter

Journalists were yesterday shocked during a parliament session when an otherwise harmless member of parliament uttered a statement that haboured traces of intelligence. According to several reliable sources the incident happened at exactly 0807hours GMT.

The unprecedented incident caused mayhem for several hours before joint CIA and Uganda police forces were called in to restore calm and order. Because of the shock, one of the witnesses was rushed to Mulago hospital after suffering a near-fatal stroke.

“I’ve been a journalist for twenty years now I tell you but I’ve never seen anything like this. Me am telling you,” a journalist was heard saying. Other witnesses claimed it was only a prank and there was nothing to be afraid of while others thought it was a sign that the world was ending soon. “I think he has a demon. This nation needs prayers,” another MP was quoted.

Reactions about the MP in question were mixed though several of his fellow MPs were mostly negative about the incident.

“It is very unconstitutional. That man has been my friend for many years now but I’ve never seen him acting like this. That was very unethical of him and I think this nation deserves a public apology,” said the representative for Sibafaako North, Hon. John-Bosco Pilawo.

Another MP who preferred anonymity but told us his name was Slumber Yebase also expressed bitterness. “Very bad I tell you. Such things will ruin this country’s political future if they are not curbed early enough. He never said anything, he always dozed with admirable dedication and with that kind of attitude to his work, we even thought he would become the next speaker of this honourable house. He should be suspended immediately.”

However, Chogam Fandizi, Youth MP for Nalyasente East was of a different opinion. “I think this will be good for our economy. I don’t know how but I know it will be good,” he said adding that the said MP would be thrown out and the salaries of those left will consequently be increased. “Which is good,” he added. “Very good for us and for this country but mostly for us.”

CIA analyst Names McGood was baffled saying that it was a major science breakthrough. We’ve excavated and studied remains of previous forms of this kind of thing…person, sorry, without much success. This marks the first form of intelligence in a Ugandan parliament. We’ll continue studying it…him until we know for sure that there’s some intellect in that house.

submitted by (or hijacked from) Erique

You can read more of his searing insights and bollockry here

You might also like:

The cocacola-isation of Waving Flag

eh eh eh eh!

“Whatever cry we cry is not heard outside of here”

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