Do You Know These Kampala Characters?

The Mobiliser.

This guy (for some reason it’s always a guy) knows everyone. He is the connector between separate social circles and his Facebook friends count is in the thousands (never mind that human beings only have the capacity to maintain relationships with 150 – 230 people at once).

If the weekend comes around and you’re wondering “Wharup? Where the party at?” (girls is on their way, where the Waragi at?) Call the mobiliser, he’s sure to know.

If you’re throwing a house party and it’s looking to be a bit of a Farmer’s Choice Sausage factory unless somebody gets some babes over here stat, call the mobiliser.

If your party is a bit dull; everyone’s standing in the corner, no one is mingling, grinding or taking their clothes off, it’s probably because you didn’t buy enough alcohol. BUT if that’s not the case and there is a full bottle of “The spirit that binds us” still sitting on the dining table, call the mobiliser, he has the crazy party people on speed dial*.

The mobiliser may not be much of a drinker or a party animal himself. He might still be telling the story of how back in ’06, after drinking 2 shots of vodka he fell into the pool with the three girls giving him a rubadub to “Ms New Booty”

Even so, it’s not a party in Kampala unless the mobiliser knows it’s going on.

The Shout Man

Do you know someone who is always promoting something? A product launch, his homie’s band, his aunty’s guest house.  Maybe he suggested everyone meet at a certain restaurant, and it’s only once you got there that you discovered his cousin’s wife owns it. Or maybe you were talking about a 9-day traffic Jam in China and he said “You know I just wrote a blogpost called “Jam, Life in Kampala, and how this all relates to me being awesome”, you should check it out”.

Maybe you went out with this guy and the whole time you dated you weren’t sure if he was trying to get to know you or he was trying to sell you his idea of a perfect relationship.

The Shout Man may not make the best boyfriend, unless you’re starting a new business, in which case, send me an email, I can give you his number.

*Does anyone actually use speed dial? For who, your mom?

Does your town have crazy characters? email vugaafrica@gmail.com to see them published here.

You might also like:

Kampala is for hustlers: Boda Negotiation 101

Almost

(untitled) 15/7/2010

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